My summary of Fifty Shades of Grey (spoilers)
- Ana: I am clumsy and I don't know I'm beautiful and I'm innocent and unaware.
- Ana: You can call me Bella 2.0
- Christian: I am very powerful and I get what I want! And I'm gorgeous.
- Christian: And my eyes are gray. And my ties are gray. And my last name is "grey."
- Christian: And I'm going to stalk you!
- Ana: OMG I say I hate it but I secretly love it!
- Christian: Stop biting your lip.
- Ana: You're so mysterious!
- Christian: I saved your life.
- Ana: I'm druinnunkkk.
- Jose: TEAM JOSE!
- Ana: Josee noo omfg
- Christian: You're at my house now!
- Ana: He's so demanding and I love being told what to do!
- Ana: I just met you. And this is crazy. Take my virginity. And whip me maybe.
- Christian: Wow, I've never had normal people sex before!
- Ana: Is that foreshadowing?
- Christian: Here is the torture chamber I have built into my mansion. No one can hear you scream.
- Ana: I don't even know what half this stuff is but I want to nibble your nutsack.
- Christian: Sign this and become my sex slave!
- Ana: There are too many rulessss.
- Christian: Sign this!
- Ana: You have to make love to me first.
- Christian: Stop biting your lip!
- Ana: I'm going to Georgia to see my mom!
- Christian: Hi Ana's mom. I put metal anal beads in your daughter's asshole.
- Ana's mom: OMG Ana's he's amazing!
- Christian: I bought your daughter a car.
- Christian: You can call me Edward 2.0!
- Ana: Take me to your parents' house!
- Christian: I am going to fuck you in my boathouse!
- Christian: The contract is officially null and void btw
- Ana: Punish me anyways!
- Christian: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT STOP FUCKING BITING YOUR LIP ANA
- Ana: Why are you this way?
- Christian: I was this older lady's sex slave and we're still friends.
- Ana: wut
- Christian: yeah
- Ana: Let's cuddle
- Christian: NO DON'T TOUCH ME
- Ana: Beat the shit out of me. I know it turns you on.
- Christian: you don't have a submissive bone in your body
- Christian: okay here's my belt.
- Ana: ow what the fuck!
- Ana: YOU ARE FIFTY SHADES OF FUCKED UP!
- Ana: And now I am suddenly a strong woman conscious of my boundaries!
- Ana: And I love you!
- Ana: So bye!
- Christian: Ok.
- -The End-
The Disney Princesses visit Snow’s memorial.
RIP Snow White’s Scary Adventures (October 1, 1971 - May 31, 2012)This is so sad :’(
- Mom: I thought you said you were going to do your homework
- Me: *casually scrolling tumblr* um yeah...
